Know that I’ve be absent a while now. Been here writing my ass off. My paper is due tomorrow, to be handed in to our supervisor to go over it and advise us to changes.  We´ve been good O. I am proud of us both. Thank you for this journey. In a week går vi upp för opponering, with our thesis that’s been in working project since February 2008. Well nervous.

”Om det ändå hade räckt med bara min kärlek till dej

Den är större än du tror

Större än kärleken själv

För när du steg ner på denna jorden rund

Var du älskad från första stund

Älskad från första stund”

”Fråga inte när det hände, fråga inte hur det vände
Jag litar inte på morgondan, den kommer aldrig nånsin som den ska

Ser inte runt nästa hörn inte än, den här stunden kommer aldrig mer igen” 

Kunde inte säga det bättre själv.  

However, I´m trying to see the red thread that connects all that is happening. The meaning of tragedy, tears but also laughter and happiness. How my life looks today are the summative consequences of both tragedy as well as from laughter and bliss.  If my angel was still here with me, I would lack the experience of (okay, this one was the hardest), but what I mean is that I’ve gained so much when loosing you my angel. And it kills me when thinking of it that way. Cuz, what wouldn’t be better than if you were here with me baby angel.  

I´ve had the most wonderful weekend. Late night conversations, hugs and kisses with someone close to me, mean the world. Apart from days spent with you I am not doin all that well, oh well I am, but I’ve had a few sad days lately. Nothing no one should or could do any about. Just those days that now and again will come to me in the longing after my angel. I am crying and want the world to be different. But regarding the red thread and meaning of all that happens I know you gave me someone or something else the second your heart stopped beating.  

Now I wish you the best S. The best and nothing but.  

Lets light a candle for not only what was, but also for what is coming.

Mummy loves you.